Yes I know.. Even if my parents said I could adopt one of the kitties from the littler, or even the mom (I really love the mom), I'd have to say no just because I know my little baby girl Mikah would be miserable.

I'm cleaning up everything now.. I'm coming across all these things they've torn up.. Paper towels.. Some of their toys.. :/

I remember crying when my ex partner made me give my kittens away. I got Celia Hammond to collect them, and even though they were all being homed in pairs to fully checked places I was already in love with each little personality.

I cried to, and I cried for my Muira, I thought she would have loved to keep one for companionship. When she got killed I cried again and again and still do all these years later whenever I think of her.
But you can only ever do your best and you have done what's best. I think letting go is also best for you now.

Yeah.. Thanks so much for the support guys and gals. I stopped by the surgery wing today and checked up on them all..

Since I'm an employee at the shelter, they allowed me to go to the back to see them.. They were all sedated..

Mitzi, the white one, was completely knocked out and didn't even open her eyes..

One of the others, Cooper, was starting to walk around, but never managed to make eye contact with me.. The two males, Oliver and Ernie, were both shaking wildly.. But they said that's a normal reaction to the sedative that they use.

Lilah was laying down on her side with her eyes wide open and her mouth open.. She wasn't looking at anything in particular.. She just laid there very still and dazed off.. That scared me because that's exactly how one of my previous cats looked when she died.

Sophie, the mom, looked the best of them all. She was laying on her stomach with her paws tucked beneath her forearms very politely.. She was the only one who was aware that I was there, and who made eye contact with me.

She seemed very awake.. And was the only one wearing a cone.. I assume they did her first.

I'll probably see them tomorrow at work.. I didn't cry when I went back to check on them today.. Which was nice.

This morning when I dropped them off the lady behind the desk asked for my last name and I couldn't even say it because I was crying and I had to write it down..

I'm so sorry, you must feel terrible right now

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I hope you do get to see them tomorrow, they will all be wide awake then I think you will feel loadsss better once they are all settled

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"Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we're here we might as well dance."

aaaw no you poor thing they will be ok you have done a fantastic job with them

So must you, Sequeena. I am sorry.

Liz

Awwwwwwwwww I think I've misunderstood this story somewhere. Why can't you have the mum back? I'm crying now, just reading this.

Thank you Liz

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Rachael's original cat Mika was moved out of the bedroom to make way for the Mum and kittens but sadly Mika didn't get on with the Mum and kittens meaning that Rachael couldn't keep them I think I am getting that right