Hi all,

New to this forum, but really in a quandary and hope someone can help.

Our lovely cat Rosie passed away a while ago, at the age of 16, of kidney failure and old age...
We miss her dreadfully and she was a rescue cat (2 years old when I got her).

We went to a rescue centre today to donate some food and other things to them. Whilst we were there we fell in love with a young cat who has so far, before being rescued, had a terrible life. She is very, very timid (as was my previous cat - Who I coaxed and brought out of her shell).
We discussed and agreed that we would love to help her and welcome her into our home and give her all the tlc and love she needs.....
We told the owner of the centre we would love to adopt her. We gave our details and agreed on this. We were really looking forward to bringing her home soon.

We then went to pick up my partners children (they live in the country) and told his ex that we had seen a new cat that we were going to give a home.

She then told us that one of their cats, a female (she has 2 others), isn't happy living there as she doesn't get on with one of her other cats and she had been thinking of asking us if we would like her but was waiting as we had lost our Rosie.
This cat is also beautiful, my partner thought it best to let her live there when he met me 18 months ago, as they had been his and his ex's cats and I already had my Rosie, (she had been living with my partner with one of their other cats (a male) when I met him - 2 years after he split with his ex).

So now we haven't a clue what to do.
The cat that lives with his ex is used to the country (we think) we live in the town, she too is a timid rescue cat, about 9 years old. We would give her a quiet home with no other pets which is probably what she needs.
I had thought of mentioning that we were willing to have her live with us to his ex (as I also thought the cat may not be too happy there), but didn't want to step on toes. My partner didn't know his ex was thinking this and is also concerned that maybe she wouldn't like it here in the town when she's been used to living in the countryside. He is terrified that if she managed to get out she would panic and disappear. She is also safe where she is at present, albeit unhappy.

Then there's the agreement we have with the rescue place.... We would feel so terrible about letting them down and going back on our agreement.

As responsible people we just wish we knew what to do for the best as we want to commit and give a needy cat a loving home.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Many thanks in advance,
Caz

Why can't you have both cats? And maybe build them a run or something so they can go outisde safely?

x

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Thanks for the prompt reply poisongirl...
We didn't think it was a good idea to have them both? The cat that currently lives with partner's ex is not too happy because of the other pets as far as we know.
Thanks anyway,
Caz x

Yeah I agree, why not have the 2 cats.
I always think that having the 2 would be company for each other.
There are plenty of info on here to help you with introducing them to each other.
One cat is never enough! We have three and still want more!
Hope this helps.
Let us know what happens.

just read your last post.
If you only want one cat than maybe the one in the rescue centre would be best.
You fell in love with her and would give her a loving home. Which she hasn't got at the moment.
While the other one is more suited to the countryside.
Maybe her owner can rehome to somebody who lives in a quiet area.
Let me know what happens.

Hmmm, its a difficult one.

I guess the best way is to work out which one you think about the most (or can't get out of your mind). I know i wasn't in the same position as you, but as soon as i saw Patch (didn't meet his sister until two days later), i couldn't stop thinking about him.

Let you and your OH's heart decide and let us know your decision.

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Thanks so much for your replies so far.

We're going to sleep on it and see how we feel.
Will update you soon....

We had decided yesterday that the most sensible thing to do was have the new rescue cat but now we are not so sure again and feel guilty about my partner's cat (the unhappy countryside one) as she went missing yesterday. She went out early morning and wasn't home until late evening, which is unusual. When she got home, her collar (they put a collar on their cats with a bell on to warn birds that they are stalking them and they can then fly off!) was caught round her leg, she was ok though. Another thing the country cat doesn't like is their dog.
The new rescue cat would be a house cat (best because of her past according to rescue centre) but my partners cat would probably have to also stay in because of the area we are in, at least for a few months as she would as I said, panic and run.
We live in a terraced street in town with only a yard (albeit with bit of grass) but there is a main road into town 2 streets away.
I don't think my partner's ex is aware of exactly
where we live (we get on fine with her) but his kids (10 and 13) are kinda of the opinion that it wouldn't really be the right place to live for their cat.

either way we will feel guilty about letting someone down. Would take both cats if we thought that was the right thing, but as both cats have timid issues we don't think it would be the right thing.

Thanks in advance for any further thoughts
Caz x

ps we did think we could bring the country cat to our house soon as we are not picking up our new rescue cat for 2 weeks, and see how suited our surroundings are for her, but we wouldn't want to mess the country cat's head up with the change. We would then see if it would be the case that she didn't like it here anyway! What do you think about that? We would then obviously let the rescue centre know ASAP and may still give them the donation.

Dont feel guilty hun, you both had your plans before the ex mentioned about this Kittie. I think the rescue cat is the best option as she lives in a rescue centre, and needs a loving home, whereas the other one already has a loving home.... Ask the ex to find another home because you already had the commitments to the rescue centre...OR take them both and build the run outside like suggested. Mine are indoor cats and even though i get the odd attempt escape...if they have plenty of toys to keep them stimulated it should be ok...although it may be harder with Country cat...good luck and let us know what you decide

Hello again!

Well, we have decided to give........ the new little rescue cat a home here

We talked to my partner's ex and explained where we live etc and all the restrictions that living here would mean (no freedom etc). She was fine and said that the cat can't be THAT unhappy living there cos otherwise she would not eat or would run away and so forth.

I tried to explain how to integrate her better but not sure if that will be put into practise. At least I tried!
My partner and I are both very relieved that we have sorted it and made a decision.

Anyway, we are so looking forward to our new puddy living here and can't wait to pick her up from the rescue centre.

Thanks so much for all your suggestions and help, it really is much appreciated and I've learnt quite a bit searching through these forums and that will come in very handy when our new cat arrives

Thanks again,
Caz xx