Hi - I am hoping someone may have an idea how to handle a delicate problem. I have had my newly adopted tabby, Remus for 4 weeks now, but he spends more time next door than at our house. The neighbours have 3 cats already - they are less than impressed with ours muscling in on their turf, but although I have asked the neighbour not to feed my cat and to put him out if he goes into her house, she won't - I don't want to resort to accusing her of pinching my cat - I know you don't own a cat, they just deign to live with you and accept you as 'the staff', but it is driving me mad!!
I don't want to make him a house cat - especially as he is only 18 months old and we live in a fairly rural area.
When he comes home, he is loving and affectionate and always ready to play.

We lost three of our cats (years ago when I was a child) to nextdoor neighbours
I cannot offer a solution for you (if you don't want a house cat) as we never found one but I hope you do!

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i think you m ight have let him out too soon, if you've only had him for 4 weeks, you might want to consider keeping him in abit longer.

If he's just come from a litter or place with lots of cats he might be feeling abit lonely, if your letting him out during the day when yor not there, again keep him in for a few more weeks 2 or 3, all day and night, and get him more used to you and settled in. make loads of fuss of him, give him treats and loads of attention etc etc.

you might find that he's just a social cat and will adopt both you and your neighgbours, if that's the case and he sleeps at yours but eats at hers, i wouldn't grumble too much as it'll cost you less in food, and her more it can only be a bonus for you surely

the other cats will soon chase him off or warm to him i wouldn't worry too much just yet.

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This is not a game of 'who the fek are you'.

Not a single gram of fek shall be given today.

I would make sure he was microchipped in case of any dispute over ownership should any issues arise at a later date. It is a difficult one to resolve as if your neighbour is feeding him and letting the cat stay in there then he is going to take full advantage. As already mentioned just make loads of fuss of him when he comes home and try to set some time aside to play with him every day too to help create a bond between you.

Hi,

I have just lost 2 cats over this last year with the same problem...if they wanted another cat they shud have gone and got one......if he fell ill tomorrow she would sharp bring him back for you to deal with

Bet she doesnt flea and worm him...that again will be your responsibility ....god this topic really boils my pi**........i would suggest definetly micro chipping him and then everytime he is gone for a couple of hours or so...or if you belief him to be at your neighbours going round and knocking on the door and taking him home

They should respect you enough not to feed your cat...its not like they dont ahve any of their own.

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Yeah totally with you on this one, they want their cake and eat it and the minute there is a problem they will bring him round.

Is there anyway you could keep him in or cat proof your garden so he can't go there, if he is eating at theirs find out what food they use and buy it in yourself. Might be enough to keep him in. I just think its worth trying to turn him into a house cat, not just because he can't go there he won't ever be stolen or run over etc.

Izzie

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I completely agree with this too! I know that cats spread it about a bit but YOU adopted/bought the cat nobody else and I consider that cat YOUR propoerty. If my neighbour was feeding my cat when I told them not to I would go balistic!
Like somebody else has suggested - go and get your kitty if he/she has been out a long time and you think might be next door. After all your neighbour will soon tire of you knocking on the door.
I also think that you should get your kitty microchipped - if the neighbour gets possesive over the cat (which she might if feeding him/her) then the microchipping in your name will ensure the cat is your property!

Like other people have said if the little kitty had a problem (God forbid) and needed vet treatment she would probably drop the kitty like a hot potato and then you would be stuck paying the bill even if the treatment needed is due to something the neighbour has done!

Also, how can you be sure what the neighbour is feeding? How many treats? Milk? Brand of kitty food!

My cat is an indoor cat so I have never had to deal wit this but I sympathise with you and anyone else that does! I would be livid!

Thanks for the replies. Luckily he is micro-chipped, so no arguments there. Just goes to show how fickle cats are as next doors get cheap Asda grub and my little monster gets the best stuff. Last night I sent a text asking for him to be sent home and he appeared about 10 minutes later and stayed home all night, so I expect I will pursue that for awhile - she may get fed-up of me texting!!
I just can't bring myself to make him a house cat, I have always had a cat and they have always been allowed free reign - and who wouldn't miss the lovely little gifts of mouse guts or heads laid at your feet each morning.

Oh that is good that you can text next door - yes keep doing that. Maybe if you do it at a regular time each night your cat might even get used to this and it might become part of the routine - he might come on his own in the end.

It is nice that your cat wants to be with all those others. Although we are in a very urban area there are quite a few cats that go out on my street and they all fight

Yeah i agree....i used to love my cats being outdoor cats...they loved it too but since the idiots where i live have taken 2 of mine and another went missing in very strange circumstances ( i assume she was taken and sold as she was pure white..only a moggy mind but beautiful) i can no longer let my cats out now

i say just keep bugging at your neighbour....there excuse is always ''well if they prefer it here who am i to judge''....but the cat doesnt know whats best for them do they....such as worming and vet bills

Hope you get it sorted soon it is heartbreaking to ahve one of your cats going to the neighbours...if it carries on though and gets more frequent to the point of they dont want to stay in your house then def make him an indoor cat, i couldnt do it with mine as they just would not use the tray and then took to pooping in my bath and anywhere else they could

good luck

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