I lost my 15 year old cat to Pancreatitis and diabetes last week. After trying to manage her diabetes for a year and a half (we had some success in controlling her fructosamine levels untill November, when they went completely out of control), and then being diagnosed with Pancreatitis at Xmas, she collapsed last week, and i had to have her put to sleep. Its been a rough year and a half, as she has been in and out of the vets continually for diabetes control, and just two weeks ago spent 4 days on a drip following the Pancreatitis diagnosis. She seemed to bounce back for a week, whilst i was feeding her boiled chicken breasts, but she got bored and wasnt interested in them, and the Vets have me Royal Canin Gastro control wet food, to supplement her Royal Canin Sensitivity control dry food, which she would eat (wet food) after her insulin injection.
I am beating myselft up, as i keep thinking maybe i should have put her back on the drip again and tried different food.....maybe what i gave her exhasperated the problem........The vets felt that because she had gone down again so quickly after coming out ofthe vets and of the drip, it was the kindest thing to do, as she has had may stays in the vets over the last year, and i really think she had enough.....I just keep wondering if there was anything else i could have done....i am beside myself, cant stop getting upset, as i miss her so much.....15 years is a long time, and of course the last year and a half was all about her, because of the diabetes.....I miss her so much.....I feel at the moment like i wont ever get passed this, and keep wondering if there was anything else i could have given her, or done to control the pancreatitis, as this is what seemed to bring it all to a head.

Don´t beat yourself, you did all you could. I´m sure you would have tried other venues if you had jknown about them. Just be happy with the time you dedicated to her, I´m sure she felt very loved.

im sorry for your loss i think you are being to harsh with yourself im am sure you done everything you could

__________________


banner made by smudgiesmummy thank you

Maybe there were things you could have done to keep her alive a little longer, but in all truth, would it have made her happy? Would she have felt well and comfortable? She would probably have had to be on the drip for most of the time. What kind of life is that?

She was a very sick girl, and the pancreatitis was probably a sign her organs were starting to collapse from the disease..... Whatever you could have done to slow down the process, it would still only go downhill from there. Maybe she would have been able to hang on a little longer, but she would have suffered, as one organ afer another would have started shutting down.

I know you are devastated, of course you are, you loved her with all your heart and you would have done everything to save her. When we lose a beloved pet, we always beat ourselves up with this guilt trip, thinking we should have been able to do more....

But you will have to resign yourself to the fact that, in the end, there was only one way you could save her, the very way in which you DID save her. By letting her go, you saved her from a few last weeks or months of ever deteriorating health. You chose NOT to let your desire to keep her with you just a little longer take precedence over her welfare. You gave her her freedom before her suffering got unbearable.

She knew you loved her, she knew you let her go to save her from further suffering, and she loves you all the more for it. She knew it was coming, and she was prepared for it. It is us who are not prepared to see it coming, because we are blinded by our love for them.....

And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.

Are you coming then? asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel,
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled.
For, you see, they need me, quite certainly.

But don't they understand, asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined for all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is...forever and ever and ever.

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat.
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them.
I just am...forever and ever and ever.

__________________
Jiskefet & the mognificent Dutch bunch

My little angels at the rainbow bridge

So sorry to read about the loss of your cat.I and many others know how hard it is when there is nothing else that will make them better.I too had a cat with insulin dependant diabetes,I was lucky she responded very well and lived with it for 7/8 years but she developed hyperthyroidism and this proved to be just too much for her system to handle and I lost her a year or so later.You did all you could,more than many would,one day soon you will remember all the good things and the hurt will ease.Take care .xx

__________________

Thanks you all for the kind words, and the poem is lovely....It helps to hear from people that have been through all of this, but still the pain is there....

Tomorrow will be a week since she went, and I have to say that its really not feeling any better......I just cannot seem to pick myself back up....I just feel a bit better, and then it all rips through me again....

I keep reading online about success stories where pancreatitis has been controlled.....and i keep wondering if this was underlying the whole time and making the diabetes worse....

In October, we had received good news that her diabetes/fructosamine levels were really well controlled, so i just feel so angry/upset that something else seems to have come along and ruined it all......

I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my cat last year after a rollercoaster of him picking up and then getting ill, and didnt have a diagnosis (the vet tested everything, until the end. It does get easier, I promise.

Please don't torment yourself like this. Sometimes things just happen. Stay here for support, but dont torment yourself with what-ifs.

You did everything possible to help your littl'un, but sometimes, the only thing you can do is to give your cat a good and peaceful death if you cannot give them a good life any more. You did this, and it shows how much you cared to do this ultimate thing.

Please take care,

Dont beat your self up, you loved her, did everything you could for her and when she could take no more you didnt let her suffer. Much kinder to help her on her way that let her struggle helplessly until the end. Youre heartbroken and feeling guilty is part of the greiving process, big hugs xx

So sorry for your loss, Losing any Pet is extremely hard especially after 15 Years of companionship, and when you read between the lines, it is easy to think what if I had, what if we had done this !!

Dont be to harsh on yourself, remember the good times you had and also remember the bad, the last year and a half. and remember she is at peace now.

Cherished memories are always going to be painful ones, and beating yourself up over this is not going to help you, you seem like you have really done the best by your beloved Girl, and you might well think that you could of gave her a little more time, but would it of been quantity over quality. Taking the hard decision to put her to sleep although extremely hard, was probably the kindest act you could have ever taken for your Girl.

Positive vibes sent your way, My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

__________________
http://www.funkyfurballs.co.uk

I htink it is the other way round. The diabetes made her more vulnerable to other ailments and made them that much harder to treat. There will always be stories of miracle cures on the internet, but for every miracle cure there are 100, maybe 1000 cases where the miracle simply did not happen, even though they may have been treated with equal care and expertise.

You did everything you could for your little girl, and you spared her a lot of suffering. Don't go on a guilt trip, for it will only overshadow your beautiful memories of her, and she deserves to be remembered with all the love you felt for her and all the joy she gave you. Hold her memory as dearly and lovingly as you used to hold her.

__________________
Jiskefet & the mognificent Dutch bunch

My little angels at the rainbow bridge