When I first brought Lola home to my two boys I felt like I'd made the biggest mistake ever. Neither of them were impressed and I considered rehoming her. I gave it a bit more time and Dexter accepted her. Now when I watch them it gives me a fuzzy feeling They run around together, play, fight, groom and sleep together - despite him being 3x his size! I used to feel sorry for him as kittens are relentless and he never seems to get a break, but now I see him starting the playing and teasing her - I know he enjoys it and its given him a new lease of life Nothing makes me happier.
The other boy Oscar is still being an a*se about the situation if I'm honest. He's turned into a nasty cat and for that I still wish I hadn't bought her home. He walks around the house hissing It doesn't stop him going about his day but he's a proper loner. Do you think he'll ever get the the point where he will stop hissing at every little thing she does? She doesn't go near him and her and Dexter just get on with things without him. I don't ever expect them to be best friends but do you think it will get better? I bought Lola home late October and we went slow for around a month. Has anyone got any nice stories about cats eventually getting on?

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Merson is one of my old boys and he REALLY got the hump on him when we got Abby. He had been the baby for 10 years and his nose was well and truly out of joint.

8 mths later he has improved but still has mardy-a$$ed moments when he will hiss and go for her (and also for McGee who we've now had for 4 mths). However, my OH has advised me that this behaviour only occurs when I am at home. When I'm out he doesn't bother her at all and has even been known, on occasion, to play with both of them....

So I think, with him, it is jealousy more than anything else.

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I am presuming you have tried all the usual Feliway plug in, Pet Remedy plug in, Rescue remedy in water, giving grumpy cat treats when kitten around etc etc???
The honest truth is that it might not get better ( Nellie carried on hissing spitting and swiping at her own offspring for at least the first 15 years! )
The real question is 'Does it bother them? ' For some cats this could be a stressful situation, but others may simply not be bothered and see it all as part of establishing the pecking order.

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Nellie Paddy Mitzy Milo Peggy Murphy

Millie and Monty, the White Devils!

Thank you for your replies.

Paddy - I have two feliway plug ins which have been on since she arrived, tried rescue remedy, have given him treats and special loving. I let him have his own space in our bedroom without her so he can nap from time to time as thats one of his favourite spots.
I think at first he was quite stressed out about it all. He stayed out more than usual was wary around the house and there was a period when he urinated on my curtains for a couple of nights. The urination stopped immediately when I added a third tray (which I should've done anyway really) and he's not wary around the house any more, walks around at a normal pace to all the places he wishes. If he comes across Lola (and sometimes Dexter too now) he will hiss as if to say 'keep your distance' and then just carry on to where he was going. They all eat in the same room with no problems and stay downstairs to sleep. He has his own bed up high and sleeps in that throughout the day and during the evening so she doesn't bother him. In fact he's inside a lot more now than he ever was! The pecking order is a little strange from what I can gather. Dexter was always the boss from the start, Oscar seemed to accept that. Now I think Lola has challenged his place and she may end up even above Dexter - I know Oscar sees her as a threat but I wish they'd just have a little tiff and sort it out instead of this constant agro. I would just like them to live together and accept each others space without all the hissing!

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I have the same problem! Suki hisses, gorwls and attacks Lilah, when the kitten just wants to play.

It's been 7 months and it doesn't seem like it gets any better.
I've been using Feliway for almost a month now and I I see the difference only when Lilah is not around. Suki becomes REALLY cute next to Feliway. But that's it

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Poor Lilah I hope it gets better for you.

He used to growl constantly when she was around. That stopped after about 2/3 weeks and now its just the odd hiss if she's close, around him or sometimes if he can hear her coming. It's really annoying because he still does it if she's fast asleep and he's walking past, she doesn't even look up anymore. She's definitely learned not to mess with him or she gets a swipe. It's 100% better from when we first introduced them but its still not great.

He's him in his usual spot taken just now:


He keeps his distance however they do both sleep on my bed together, this is how close they were yesterday:



So hes not frightened to get in his favourite spot whether she's there or not.

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Sorry the photos are so big!

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Well if they are prepared to sleep that close together then I would not be too worried myself.

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Nellie Paddy Mitzy Milo Peggy Murphy

Millie and Monty, the White Devils!

From those pics, I would guess he's just doing it for show and bluster. If he's sleeping right next to her, he really doesn't care deep down. Depending on how stubborn a creature he is, he might just come around one day, out of the blue, and start cleaning her. Then the charade is all over

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My babies
Aber, Ragnar, Kelso (the corgi trio), Daisy (our rescue mystery-mix puppy), Ellie, Henry, Gwennie, Jezebel (the kitty quartet), Blake, Chaucer, Molly and Milton (the kittens), and Bingo the African Grey parrot

Over the Bridge:
Pippin: 1/6/08-17/5/11
Freja: 11/8/10-30/10/10
Kirby: 11/8/10-1/11/10

"Praise liberty/The freedom to obey/It's a song that strangles me/Well, don't cross the line" Billie Joe Armstrong

I suppose I will just have to tolerate the hissing and as long as Lola learns not to push her luck maybe it will stop eventually.

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