My boyfriend us allergic to cats, really bad, it brings on his asthma. After a few months of meeting him I moved in with him. We tried bringing my cat Benji with me, using lots of allergy products, dehumidifiers, hepa vacumming etc...yet he still was allergic to him. Plus, he didn't like him which upset me. He'd get angry at him for nothing, and I felt really protective over my little Benji. Anyway, push came to shove and I rehomed Benji.

Since then, we heard that Siberian's are known to be tolerated by some allergy suffers we got a Siberian. But after about 2 weeks his symptoms came on, so we had to take her back.

I have just started volunteering at my local RSPCA to socialise the cats, so I can be close to cats in this way, if not own any of my own. Yet it's making me realise again what I miss, and that love I have for them, it's overwhelming. It brings me to tears talking about it.

Now I just want to be able to have a cat again. The only option though is to move out and, stay with my boyfriend but live in a different house. Either that or resign myself to the fact I will never have a cat as long as I stay with my boyfriend.

I realise no-one can tell me what to do, but has anyone been in a similar situation? Does anyone identify with this need to have a cat as well? It seems odd to my family and my bf, I can't quite explain it, having a cat to me is like having love and beauty in my life, it's like that's partially missing without them.

I cannot give you any advice, as I have never been in that position. Come to think of it, I guess my relationship would never have come as far that, if he didn't like cats....

The first person a candidate-boyfriend would have to convince would not be my mom or dad, nor my best friend, it would be my cats. And if he didn't approve of the cats, or they didn't approve of him, he would be in a very difficult position, there would be some problems he would have to resolve in order to still be regarded as a possible boyfriend-to-be.....

__________________
Jiskefet & the mognificent Dutch bunch

My little angels at the rainbow bridge

From my own personal viewpoint:

I'd have my cats over the bf/hubby ANY day of the week.

My last bf didn't like my cats and they didn't like him. We weren't living together so I put up with him for a while but eventually broke it off as it wasn't going anywhere. I'd never give up my cats for him so I gave him up for my cats.

I worry when you say that your BF would get angry with the cat for no reason...... ANYONE who can behave like that has issues in my book and I would not want to be in their company AT ALL......

I'd be happier with a bloke who is as nutty about my animals as I am and who fully understands how important they are to me.

Luckily, I found one of those so I married him PDQ before he could get away.

__________________
.

My partner doesn't want to live with dogs, so he doesn't live with me, simple as! I know it might sound weird to some people but my animals are more important to me than him, they are my life and what gets me out of bed in the morning, I physically couldn't rehome or not live with them.

I know this will make me sound horrible, but if it was me i'd have chosen to keep my cat and just said, sorry but I cannot be with you. Just because my animals are my life and people not liking cats is my biggest turn off :/ I'm sorry I can't help you, but if you work with cats then at least that is better than nothing right?

__________________

You are lucky. Yes he'd get angry at Benji when he wouldn't go outside or when he ran in one day terrified and jumped on the kitchen cabinets. He doesn't like cats. I find it very hurtful when he sees them and calls them "bloody things".

He lived about 45 minutes drive away from me, so it wasn't like we could nip round and see each other often, in which case I could have stayed where I was and seen him and kept my cats. As it is, I have given away or sold all my furniture and would be starting from scratch.

Ouch, poor you My hubby is very allergic to cats, too and also has allergic asthma. When we met in 1997, I had 2 cats and there was no way I was getting rid of them, us having been through a lot together and all... When we moved in together, my boyfriend (as was) used to spend every evening in the bedroom where the cats weren't allowed, and little by little, he managed to acclimatise to the cats. He had an allergy test last year that showed he was still highly allergic to cats, and in theory should never have them, but he has now built up antibodies and has no reaction whatsoever. The cats sleep in bed with us and go wherever they like. Of course it helped that my hubby liked cats, although he'd never had any due to his condition.

It's a real dilemma for you, and I would be really upset if any partner of mine didn't like cats. I'm passionate about them, too. It kind of depends how much you love your boyfriend, I suppose. I think in the early days, if I'd had to choose between bf and cats, I would have chosen the cats...

__________________
http://catscanjump.blogspot.com

Wendy, mum to:
Simba von Wurzbachtal, Turkish Van, born Austria, 5/9/10

RIP
Tarka, 1989 - 2008 my gentle Phileas Fogg
Bruno, 2008 - 2010 taken too soon my darling boy
Misi, 1993 - 25/3/2012 My brave, beautiful tabby

I´d have to agree there. I really coudn´t be with someone who didnt dote on Merlin. I understand that being allergic is really difficult but in my case I know in the long run I´d just resent that person. Anyway when I meet people Merlin tends to come up so I woudn´t be with a non cat lover or allergic

You are kind of answering your own question!

I'm with the others, I have to say I don't like the sound of your boyfriend (though I'm sure he must have some redeeming qualities). You obviously miss having cats massively, I wonder if you'd miss the boyfriend as much?

Starting again (and with some beautiful furry best friends) IS possible.

__________________
Harry: Ginger & White b. September 2002
Oscar: Black b. 7th May 2011
Kitty: Grey Tabby b. 7th May 2011

Our lovely cat family

I can fully understand your dilemma hun but, for me, it still comes back to the fact that he would get angry over an animal. That is the one thing I absolutely will not / would not tolerate under my roof.

I honestly do believe that folks who get angry at animals have got personality issues that are not good. Just my opinion of course.

I would rather start again from scratch than live with someone like that.

__________________
.