Good point
I had a similar experience with 2 of my previous cats - 2 females from the same litter whom I adopted as kittens. One cat was very confident and lively, the other very reserved. When the lively female eventually died (of old age) there was a big change in the quiet one -- she became much more confident, outgoing and seemed a far happier cat. I felt very sorry that her true nature had been so suppressed for so long by the presence of the other female.

With my present 2 young ones, brothers from the same litter -- they got on fine as kittens, but now as young adults their relationship has cooled considerably. I can no longer feed them side by side, or play with them both together without things turning nasty and the dominant cat bullying the other one. They tend to avoid each other most of the time nowadays. Fortunately I am in semi-rural area with lots of outdoor space for them to roam, so they each have plenty of territory.

As a survival mechanism some cats choose to be placating in their behaviour to more dominant cats rather than fight for dominance. Others are so appeasing in their behaviour they are almost self-effacing.

I have seen this kind of behaviour magnified a hundredfold in Cat Rescue Shelters, where cats feel highly stressed being surrounded by so many other cats. It is very upsetting to see, as it is obvious the cats are anxious and unhappy. Of course the Shelter is an extreme situation, but my experience there gave me better understanding of the reasons for certain cat behaviours.

Yes, I've also noticed changes in behaviour when cats have died. In my own household I've resorted to giving my cats their own space. I've been able to do this because we have two houses merged into one so it's quite a large house. I have four cats living together in one part of the house, three in another and two in another. I share my time between all of them. This arrangement has worked insofar as stopping the marking of territory, I just wish I could spend all my time with all my pets, but it is impossible. I can see they are visibly much happier having their own space.

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It's funny you should say that as I thought Oscar & Wilbur (now 8 months old) were cooling off each other as Wilbur didn't want to share a food bowl with Oscar anymore...that was until my husband pointed out their heads are much bigger now, so how could Wilbur possibly get to the bowl with "Guzzlegut's" big head in the way

Separate bowls but all else is still shared including paper bags to jump in/out of! Hopefully they will stay friends.

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That's interesting. My 2 littermate brothers are not the best buddies they used to be now that they're nearly 2 years old. They seem to want a lot more personal space around each other and we often see them or hear them swearing at each other when one gets too close. This never happened before. I wonder if it's their age, as with your two brothers, or whether it's something to do with their recently arrived little brother. Both older cats have palled up with the baby, and the baby snuggles, plays, and sleeps with each of his big brothers (very, very cute!). But the big brothers are not getting on so well. I wonder if they're saying 'He's MY little mate, NOT YOURS', or something along those lines! Larry can be quite possessive and I think he would definitely go for Top Cat if my OAP Barney would let him.

Still, I'm not too worried as harmony reigns most of the time and there's no inappropriate weeing (so far).

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Rescue cats for many years, currently one moggie and 3 young Maine Coons.

I really would love to get Jaffe a playmate but right now I really just can't afford it. My plan is to save up first and when I go back to work *touch wood* get him a friend so he won't be lonely.

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The spoon Theory By Christine Miserandino To help people understand coping with disability

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/ar...e-miserandino/