Hi everyone, I haven't really been around much the last week or so and I'm in need of some advice. This is probably going to be long as well, sorry.

My lovely Mum passed away suddenly last week and she has an approx 6 month old kitten. My brother lived with her and I have been staying there the last week and coming home during the day to be with my babies, and it's getting to be a bit too much really but my brother is only 20 and always been the baby of the family so has no idea how to look after himself or Poppy (who we've found out is actually a boy). I've basically been doing everything for Poppy, my bro wont even clean the litter tray.

I do have room for one more and can afford another one as well so have offered to take him, but my bro was a bit non committal and said he loves him and would be sad to see him go. So what do I do?! I can't stay there forever and the 2 nights I came home for at the weekend just gone I'm not convinced he remembered to feed Poppy enough because there was nothing in his bowl and he was asking for food straight away and again, the litter tray had not been cleaned out at all.

The other issue is that my Mum couldn't afford to anything except feed Poppy so he hasn't been vaccinated or neutered, I gave her flea and worm treatment so that's fine but obviously those would have to be taken care of before he could come to me anyway. He's also quite timid as well, we think he was only 5 weeks old when Mum took him from this woman whose boyfriend was going to drown them if they didn't go that night. He is a very loving boy just very jumpy with loud noises or even if you walk past him a bit too quick so I'm not sure if he would be happy with my big bruiser boys Arnold and Leo, Lottie would be fine because she's a bit like that herself. Would Feliway help with this?

Leo is going in next week to be neutered so I could book Poppy in as well but is it ok to have vaccinations after neutering or do they prefer to do it the other way around?

And should I take him anyway? I know I could probably convince my bro but I'm just not sure if it's a bit mean taking his cat after Mum has just died. Help!

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Firstly I'm so sorry about your mum, having lost mine also I can understand what you are going through
On the subject of poppy it's a tricky situation I understand you won't want to upset your bro even more but I think if you can cope with another cat he would be better with you!
Hope all works out for you xxx

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Why should your brother want poppy, as he is only 20 and probable would in time find having him a tie with wanting to go out clubbing etc.
I think if you take Poppy feliway should help in keeping everything normal. Not sure with how your vet would like to proceed, maybe a phone call to them would clear this up for you. As Poppy is only 6 months old he has plenty of time to adjust. Good luck

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Black with white around his private area



Black Tortoiseshell




R.I.P Patch my well behaved boy dog
R.I.P. Abby and Rebel my beautifull litter sister cats

awwww Dom, I'm so very sorry about your mum ((hugs))


I think if I were in your position I would bring Poppy home. Like you say your brother is used to having someone do everything for him, mum's are good at that, but he will have to start looking after himself. I think he needs to learn how to do that first without the worry of looking after Poppy. I know he says he will miss him, but I'm sure he can come and visit. Maybe in a few months when he has sorted himself out, you both could re-consider where Poppy should be?



Once again I'm so sorry for your loss xx

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Firstly I would like to offer my sincerest condolences. I haven't been through it yet, but I was very very close to my grandfather who passed away a few years ago, and it devastated me. I also want to give you a huge (HUG).

Secondly, I think you should take Poppy (Popeye? ) in. I have to agree with the other poster, he will probably find her too much work. I know I put a lot of work in to my boys, cleaning out litters trays twice a day, cleaning them out completely fortnightly, feeding them three times a day, ensuring they eat, making sure they can't eat something bad or hurt themselves on anything, grooming, cleaning bowls and fountains, tidying up after they wreck the place. It can be a full time job sometimes! He may even come out of his shell with other kitties. I remember Eroswoof's rescue moglet who was very timid and shy, and he flourished completely when spending time with Teebee. In any event, he will at least be well taken care of, well fed and have a happy home xxx

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Mummy to;

Sooty 9.6.1996 - 28.04.2011 Rest in peace my love!
Storm (Sueragdandy Phantom) 28.02.2010
Benji (Kassaro Benjamin Franklyn) 08.03.2011

My sincere condolences on your loss.

Personally I think you should bring Poppy home. I don't doubt your brother may miss him but can't help thinking that if he isn't prepared to spend 3 minutes scooping out a litter tray or putting a little food in the bowl then he isn't really that bothered about the kit. If he really misses the kit he could come over and see him at yours. I don't mean to sound harsh; I understand you are all feeling extremely upset and you are also worrying about your brother, but at 20 he is quite capable of taking responsibility for the kitten should he really wish to - but he is leaving it to you so bring Poppy home with you - you will have enough on your plate trying to sort out your mum's stuff without worrying whether your brother has fed the kitten etc.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

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Kaz

For kittens, joy is for the asking and smiles are for the giving

so sorry for your loss..

Personally I would take the kitten, at the end of the day your brother is still able to see him, and its not like you are rehoming to a stranger.

Yes, he will probably miss him, but if he wont clean a litter tray then he isnt in a position to care for him properly and like you say you have your own life too. I think you know yourself that it is the right thing to do.

Hope he understands and all goes well

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So sorry to read of the loss of your mum,I have been there and know the devastation it causes.
I agree with the others ,at the moment your brother has enough to deal with without having the responsibility of a kitten.If it was me in this position I would take the kitten and sort out vaccs/neutering ect keeping it safe with you while your brother sorts his life out.If after a few weeks he still wants to take on the costs and responsibility of caring for the kitten then you can rethink what is best.While there is a chance that your brother may forget to feed/clean litter trays ect I dont think he is really ready to do this.I hope this all sorts its self out and you,your brother and kitten find a solution.Take care xx

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So sorry to read of the sudden loss of your mum Dom It must be so hard for you without the added worry of whether your brother can look after poor little Poppy.
I have to agree that it would be for the best if you take Poppy in even if it is only a temporary thing until your brother knows what he is doing. It must be devastating for him too and caring for a young kitten is just too much for him at the moment.
I'm not sure if you'd need to have the vaccinations done before neutering but I would have thought you probably would. It shouldn't be a problem to check with your vet.

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How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. - Robert A. Heinlein
http://www.lambchopsiamese.webs.com

Thank you, I know what's for the best really, it's just difficult with my brother, I'll have a chat with him tonight and see whether he'll reconsider. I just want what's best for Poppy, my Mum adored him, all of the pictures on her phone are of Poppy and my little boy.

It's not like I'm taking him tomorrow either, will have to get his neutering and vaccs sorted first and let him recover at home before moving him to mine.

I've noticed he scratches the carpet there as well because he doesn't have a scratch post so will have to start working on that as well and maybe get a feliway plug in at both our places to help have a smooth transition.

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