Hi,

On Friday I had my cat of 15 yrs put down, since the euthanasia I've been struggling with thoughts of guilt, doubt and just about every other emotion you can think of. I'm sure these are natural feelings to have and I would really like to share my story with others, in the hope that someone else has experienced a similar situation and can share their thoughts.

My relationship with my cat (bronte) started at a very young age. I was just 14 and had recently lost my grandad and didn't have contact with my dad. My elder brother also lived away from home. When Bronte came in to my life I developed a very close boned with her, I think to replace the relationship that I lacked with other members in my family. In a way I treated her like a little person. As she got older I stopped thinking of her as just a cat and started to think of her as a member of the family. She would always follow me around and was very loyal to me. She slept at the end of my bed every night for the duration of her life and she would often fall asleep with her head rested on my arm. She showed behaviour that I'd never seen before from a cat and it was almost human-like.

About a year ago bronte was diagnosed with a condition that caused the gums and teeth to decay. She had an operation to stop the disease from spreading which involved removing most of her teeth. She was also found to have an abscess inside her mouth, near her cheek bone. At the time no biopsy or x-ray was done and after the operation she was sent home with anti-biotics to treat the abscess. Three weeks later I looked in her mouth and saw the abscess was still there. As soon as I saw it I was shocked and immediately knew it was something more sinister.

My fears were confirmed when Bronte was later diagnosed with oral squamous cell carcinoma, a type of aggressive mouth cancer commonly found in cats. Because of the location and stage of the cancer it was considered terminal and she was given only 6 weeks to live.

She was sent home with pain management which consisted of metacam and would later include daily vetagesic injections.

Bronte ended up living with the tumour for nearly 11 months. The cancer progressed a lot slower than expected and she seemed to cope with it very well. In the final few months she had developed an ulcer in her eye, the tumour had eaten away at the soft pallet in her mouth and her cheek bone became very soft. Her left nostril was also completely blocked from the growth of the tumour and she would occasionally bleed from her mouth. In the last couple weeks she stopped eating most of the things she usually enjoyed and we often found her in a hunched up position. We knew at this stage that it was probably the right time to put her down but it was an incredibly difficult decision to make. She was still enjoying cuddles and going out in the garden and on the day of the euthanasia she even rolled over in the sun and played with a bit of grass.

The decision to put your pet down is hard enough but I generally believe its something you should only do when absolutely necessary. At this stage it was around 70% discomfort and 30% enjoyment. To make things more difficult the vet was pushing euthanasia almost on every checkup. We finally made the decision on Friday but I now feel doubt and guilt and I keep asking myself many questions.

Would bronte would have wanted to die? Who am I to make that decision? And why is euthanasia considered ok for animals but not humans?

Whilst I would never have wanted bronte to suffer I also have to think that it wasn't my decision to make. Animals in the wiled often have to die of natural causes and humans suffering from cancer usually die of their illness. I'm not sure what I did was correct but maybe it was the kind thing to do. I suppose I'll never really know what Bronte would have wanted. I suppose if I was in so much pain and not getting any enjoyment out of life that I would just want to end it. The sad thing is Bronte was a survivor who didn't want to give up. She would have just kept on going and going. She probably could have survived another week or two or three but eventually would have starved to death.

What do you guys think? Is Euthanasia morally correct?

i'm so sorry for your loss

its a hard decision, but always know you did right by your cat.
You cant explain to them why they are in pain, and you stopped her suffering.

i know you miss her dreadfully, and doubt is normal at this stage - but you were right and brave to help your furfamily this way.

try and remember the many years of happiness you had together - there is a section called rainbow bridge (where they go and are comforted until you join them - a long time from now ), if you feel up to it sometime you can put a post with happy memories and photos.

Firstly Im so sorry for your loss..

Whenever I have had to have a much loved pet I have gone through the same emotions. I imagine 99% of people do. You have ended a life and as such have the questions and guilt.. BUT you did it for Bronte, and had her best interests at heart. She had cancer and as most people have seen a loved one die in such a way (i for one think euthanasia on humans should be legal) you gave her a peaceful death with you. She no longer had to suffer.

It sounds like you shared an amazing bond and I am 100% sure she would thank you for everything you did forher and giving her an extra 11 months with you.

There will be a time when you start to smile and laugh when you think of her, and when the raw emotions start to subside you will know you did what was best. The most selfless act you can do.

I really hope the pain starts to ease soon, Rip Bronte

rainbow bridge poem:

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sorry, forgot to say - my childhood cat was PTS at 18, arthritus after it got too bad even with the 3rd increasing dose of vet meds. He could have kept going in increasing pain for potentially years.
It was a quality of life decision and the right one for him. Took me a few years to be sure though!

it sounds to me like you made the right decision please never ever doubt yourself. . . I'm sure Bronte would have made this decision herself if she could. She enjoyed her life with you and you gave her all the love and attention you could have possibly given. . .she gave you the same in return, she repayed you with love and loyalty and she never doubted any decisions you made in your life, she stayed by your side and I'm sure she would never have doubted this decision. . .I'm sure as much as she would have wanted to stay with you but it was causing her too much discomfort and you did the right thing by making that decision for her. She would thank you if she could.

You made the decision she couldn't make herself.

Also, yes euthanasia is not acceptable in humans because it is too easily taken advantage of e.g. people having people euthanised for their own gain. It would be great if it was legal but only if there was no way of taking advantage of it.
whereas in animals there is very little to gain by euthanasia and it is only usually used in a bad way when the animal is PTS without good reason such as not enough room in the rescue centre etc. but in this case your little cat was PTS for her own benefit.

anyway as I was saying

you allowed her to die peacefully and with dignity you gave her a beautiful life and the most dignified death. You have done all you can for you little baby, she was there for you in your times of need and you've been there for her throughout her illness. . .and you've done the best thing possible by ending it before it became unbearable for her. . .like a lot of humans would probably like to have the option of doing.
you would have regretted not doing it if she had taken ill and had been clearly in a lot of pain and then you had to actually wait for a vet to come and put her to sleep so the time was right. She didn't have to go through the fear and pain she could have potentially faced.

One day in the hopefully very distant future we will all be able to visit rainbow bridge and be reunited with our animals we have lost over the years. I'm sure a lot of us will be reunited by big crowds of excited animals all wanting a big cuddle and others will be reunited with a few animals that are just as special and it will be absolutely lovely

please never doubt yourself. You did the right thing.

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Thank you for your comments. It's so difficult when you've had a bond with something for so long and have to see them go. It's watching the injection and looking into their eyes as they slip away. It's just one of the worst things in the world.

This is bronte before she was ill:

Hi Element

I am so very sorry to hear about your little girl. I really need to go to bed now so I am making this short. I just wanted to tell you how much your story reminds me of my own. A month ago I lost my 12 year old little boy to pancreatic adenocarcinoma. He came to me at the same age as you and we were also very very close and he helped me though some difficult times.

I can relate so much to your thoughts about euthanasia. It is such a difficult decision to make - I actually ended up canceling 2 appointments and my vet was also pushing (I changed vet because of this).

I am very sorry that you have doubts and honestly I can not tell you if it was the right time. The vet, that ended up putting my boy to sleep, advise was that if there are more bad days then good then maybe time is up. My boy ended up with more bad days as I could not end his life when I still saw life in his eyes.

I am sure you made the right decision to have her put to sleep though. Cancer is such a vile disease and trust me you would not have wanted her to die of that. I don't really consider cancer a natural course for a cat to die, but more of a disease we humans have created. So I see it as a kind act and in a way the last act of love we show our sweethearts.

I have a really hard time expressing myself right now (second language and the hour) so hopefully this makes sense.

Hugs to you and really that could have been my post a month ago.

Also your Bronte is beautiful and she actually looks like my new little girl. I am sure she is in a better place now.

she was truly a beautiful kitty.

You made the right decision for your cat - I think deep down you always know when the time has come. If you had kept her going it would have been for you - not for her - and because you loved her so you let her go.

In March we had to have our 4.5 year old boy, Sweepie, put to sleep - he had exhibited no symptoms of any kind; on the day he was PTS he seemed breathless so we rushed him off to the vet (I thought he just had perhaps a chest infection). Turned out he had a massive tumour and his insides were in the vet's words "a mess". He went down rapidly within the space of 90 minutes and his cries of distress were just heart rendering and live with me today. I continually think did I miss something; why didn't I notice...etc yet hand on heart he really hadn't shown any signs of any illness. We miss him so very much.

Just remember all the love and happy memories you shared; don't focus on the issue of euthanising her - you gave her her dignity and peace at the end.

She was a beautiful cat and such lovely photos of her show how much you loved her.

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Kaz

For kittens, joy is for the asking and smiles are for the giving