Sorry about the long post but I have a very hard time making a decision.

A month ago I lost my beautiful boy to cancer and it has been the most horrific experience of my life and I miss him so so much.

Now I have decided to adopt a new Cat and Saturday and today I visited the local shelter to look at all the many cats that needs a home.

I find it horrible difficult to choose though since they are all adorable. I actually thought that it would be easy and the cat would choose me (Like my Cartman). Three of the boys certainly did but I have a feeling that they are just outgoing loving cats that has not been at the shelter for long.

So I am sitting here with a feeling that I want to give one of the shy cats a chance. In particular I am thinking about a little girl called Maya. She came in as a young kitten and has been at the shelter for over a year (She is the cat they have had for the longest time). She does not like strangers and she certainly does not like me but the staff has reassured me that she is very loving and sweet when she gets to know you. She seems depressed and just hides under a blanket.

They told me that she had been out with an old lady before that sent her back, but the staff did not feel like the the lady had given her a proper chance (She also sent the next cat back – which was a easy cat) The staff was very excited that I am considering Maya and said that if I could not make it work with her after a month they would take her back and I could choose a new cat. But this will be Maya's last chance! Herein lies my dilemma!

I find it a horrible pressure, since what if it is my fault that it did not work. I am not so experienced in being a cat owner, I have only ever had Cartman and he was the easiest outdoor cat in the world.
Whereas Maya is his totally opposite being a shy indoor cat who needs way more patience and security. So if I f'**k it up poor Maya will have to leave this world! But then again if I can make it work it would be so great to see Maya loving life!

There is also the more safe choice in a little black 2 year old girl called Freja she is very loving and very smart but no one seems to want her either as she has been at the shelter for 6 months. She is a safe choice but more likely to find a home than Maya.

The cat that I am most in love with is a boy called Leopard and he has also been at the shelter for 6 months. He is so fun and reminds me a lot of my Cartman. This is actually my biggest issue with him as I would always compare him to my boy and and Cartman would always win. Also I think Leopard would love being an outdoor cat but I want an indoor since I cannot be certain I will always be able to provide that option for him (as I predict I will move around a little the next 10 years)

So right now I am at a lost and so sad because I want to save all the cats but mostly I just want my boy back! Maybe I am just not ready!

Sorry Im going to be of no help but did'nt want to read & run.

Its a hard decision to make but Im sure you will come to the right one, good luck & let us know how you get on x

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All my children have paws!

would taking 2 be out of the question?

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Yes right now I think it would – for financial reasons I think it will be best. I want to feed my new cat an organic raw diet since I am going to do my damnedest to never have a cat with cancer again.

could they give advice on who to pair? one of my kitties is shy, but very loving to me - shes a secret softie!

foodwise - feeding two is generally cheaper than one as you can bulk buy and save (just freeze into portions if feeding raw)

otherwise, out of Freja and Maya - I would probably *personally* go for Maya but you just have to follow your heart.

Shy cats can be rewarding in their own ways - the two torties I had have both been really scardy cats - the first was a feral and I rescued her as a child when she was about 12 weeks old when she was living in our hen house. She was always wary of strangers and hid whenever we had visitors, but she loved me. She calmed as she aged and eventually even let men stroke her.

My second tortie I have now is the most gorgeous looking girl and I love her to bits, but boy is she shy. However, when we have a breakthrough it is all the sweeter. She doesn't like feet and runs away from us most of the time BUT if you catch her on the bed and call her name she absolutely loves a stroke and purrs like a motorbike. She loves attention but most of the time is too scared to come and get it - it a case of catching her in a good mood when you can. She tells us when one of the other cats wants something and is definitely bonded. We feel so privileged when she comes and sits with us on the sofa and after 2 years it is getting better. I can now feed her treats from my fingers rather than dropping it near her on the floor. And the sense of reward is immense.

Basically, I'd go for it - give her loads of time and space (I ignore Bessie a lot of the time when she is being scardy - letting her be and allowing her to be fearful), feliway helps greatly. The rewards will be immense - very very few are as bad as Bessie and I wouldn't swap her for anything.

I don't want to make you feel guilty if you don't, but I would definitely take on Maya - this is entirely personal. Just the thought of the poor little thing being there for a year, with no-one seeming to take an interest, would be enough for me.

My last two moggies were very friendly and lapcats, and I loved them for it. I now have two Egyptian Maus, and they most definitely are not lapcats! Sinbad is OK being picked up for short periods, but Napoleon has always been very timid and skittish, hard to get close to - but that makes it all the more rewarding when he lets me get close, and purrs beautifully when I stroke him. As he gets older, he is becoming less of a scaredy cat.

I would also consider getting two cats from the shelter, if there is any way you can make that happen. There is a very good chance that another companion cat would help Maya to gain more confidence and to have a happier life. Please let us know what you do!

I probably would go for Maya - all it takes is a lot of patience and love and she will come round. I think for a cat like Maya I would start off by providing her with a lot of "safe" places to go to initially (nice cat climber with a bed or two higher up), perhaps an igloo style bed somewhere else and so on (mind a simple cardbox is just as attractive to the cat, if not us!). Allow her to come out in her own time. Put her food down and leave her. Just talk quietly to her all the time if you are in the room with her. Don't make much eye contact at the beginning. Then start trying to interact perhaps with wand type toys and try playing with her. This way she gets to interact but still at a distance. If you can pet her at any point do but don't overdo it and when she does something good like come out to eat or use the litter tray just praise her quietly. Find out if she enjoys being groomed - that helps build a bond. Invest, as previously suggested in Feliway diffusers and spray for the first few weeks whilst she would be finding her paws.

It may take months or longer before she truly comes around but when you get that first purr or she would come to you the first time you would feel like you won the lottery!

But for all that - follow your heart and get the cat you really want.

Keep us updated.

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Kaz

For kittens, joy is for the asking and smiles are for the giving

I think If it was me I would give Maya a chance of a loving home.
To think she has been stuck in there for a year and then that lady taking her back as well
She will be so different from your cartman which will be a good thing.
She might take a while for her to get use to you but i am sure with a lot of love and care she will gradually come round.
There is also a lot of help and advice on here waiting for you if you need it.

If you wanted to go for two cats then i would get advice from the rescue which would go better personality wise with Maya.


Good luck and keep us up dated.

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