Hello everyone, im new here and have came to this forum seeking assistance. My baby cat died today and I'm completely devasted. I found her 4 hours ago and I'm still crying as I write this. She was my angel, our other cat gave birth to her and 2 others on the 26th of May 2009. I watched her come into the world. After the litters birth, I knew she was special. I already had 4 other cats, but there was something about her that urged me to 'just have one more'. Maybe that when you picked her up she flopped listlessly in my hands and began to purr, or how she would scramble up on the couch and curl up under my hair away from her brother and sister. As she got older I got into the habit of cradling her in my arms or wrapping her round my neck whilst going about my business, gently clapping her whilst she was sleeping so that she would let out a gentle mew, or letting her chew my pencils and bat about my notebook when I studied for exams. Although your not supposed to have favourites, she was my youngest cat, and always was 'my kitten'- by far the most affectionate of our five felines. Although our other four cats regularly got outside to play, her time outdoors was restricted to when the door was ajar and I was around, so I could keep a careful eye on her.

However, yesterday afternoon my mum let her out. By last night she still wasn't back, and I was more than a little concerned even though it wasn't completely unusual for her to bugger off for a while and make the most of her freedom. I went to bed knowing my mum would wait up for her to stroll back in.

By this morning she still wasn't back, and I knew then. We live beside a relatively quiet road where people dont respect the speed limit, and my first thought was to check the road. I walked up once, and saw no sight of her. After doing another round of the village I decided to check the other side, where theres a large field. And there was my baby, curled up, head tipped back. For a moment I stopped and thought about checking if she was still with me, but.. I just started screaming and ran back to my house, barely 50ft away. Never stopped screaming for 20 minutes. My mum went out and fetched her with a blanket, placed her in a box. Now I just cant stop thinking about her. I know she was only two, but she was my best friend. If I was ever upset I would just drape her over my shoulder until I felt better. Now the only thing that could possibly ease the pain is gone. Still cant believe it, only yesterday morning I was woken my her nibbling my knuckles and we went out to play in the garden for abit. I dont know what today, cant settle. Cant get the image of my sweet Oliver out of my head. I feel awful that I was lying sleeping last night when my Oli lay outside, probably in sight of my bedroom window, growing cold. I am absolutely gutted, Im not looking for pity, just some kind words from people that see there pets as family as much as I did.