It's said to keep staying on horse back while riding (trot or cantering), we shouldn't squeeze with lower legs, since this will tell the horse to speedup.

Well, say I want to trot, if i didn't squeeze, how will i stay without bouncing? someone says, squeeze just with your thighs, that won't tell the hose to speedup, but it is an aid for slowing down the horse.

SO! if i squeezed or made pressure with the thighs to keep staying while in trot, will this make the horse slows down??? so I am out of the trot though I don't want to yet, and if i didn't squeeze, i will start bouncing!

My great aim during lessons now is to stop that hurting bouncing when starting to trot, my instructor just says, stay on, keep in contact with the saddle, I really try to, tensioning my muscles to stay on, which makes it worse.

Can anyone solve this for me and tell me what are the things that I need to fix, even if the mistakes were in the theories I mentioned.

My Dilemma in brief (How it says everywhere, keep in contact with the horse with your legs, and still saying, no squeeze with knees, shouldn't i keep my knees tight with the saddle) ??

Hope I described the situation clearly.

Thanks.