My Merlin would go through phases the same as Mia - Hardly ate, didn't like being picked up etc. I found it was best to leave her to rest as much as possible, and concentrate on the food/pills just in the evening. Definitely try cooking some Coley fish (buy in frozen blocks from supermarket) with a bit of butter. The one thing Merlin used to eat ok (and apparently a lot of older cats are the same) is cooked chicken breast. She went crazy for the tesco's value pack, and even at times when she looked so lifeless, if we got the chicken out she would actually run! (ok.. jog perhaps)
We sometimes got her to eat the pills by squeezing them into a small bit of chicken and making a ball out of it, but she did soon suss us out!
I really do feel for you all. Please take care of yourselves.