HK, I am so so sorry and can only imagine how upset you are right now. I have no answers other than a huge hug from me and try and be strong over the next few days/weeks.

Dont be scared of crying, it is a way of releasing our feelings and you need to mourn. Try not to plan too much over the next few days and dont expect too much from yourself as you have and are going through alot.

My heart goes out to you - give your little one lots of hugs and kisses so he remembers a happy mom xx

I have found this bereavement service - I dont know if they are any good but the number is below, might be worth a try xx

Animal Samaritans Pet Bereavement Service: 020 8303 1859, ANIMAL SAMARITANS - A UK registered animal rescue charity that rehomes unwanted & ill-treated pets in South London & North-West Kent.