I have tried the holding the kitten by the road thing and to be honest they only seem scared when a car is actually driving by, the thing is to get your cat used to looking before they cross and its usually experience that does that, we have 4 cats and (fingers crossed) they seem quite careful on the road, if you don't let them out untill they are past that fearless age they seem to be a bit scared of everything outside which isn't always a bad thing. Sorry to hear about the loss of your other little kitten its a horrible way to loose them especially so young.