I'm so sorry you are having a tough time. As others have said, you do not deserve to be spoken to like that. Put your foot down and stand your ground - he either respects you and speaks to you with that respect or .......

With regards to the kittens, could you not move the mommy and babies to a different part of the house where visitors are less likely to see them for a bit? I would also check out the new rules and regulations on animals rights - you may find that it is against the law to let the babies go before 8 weeks anyway!