Ok... Im advertising to fill the following vacancies...

Please note these are virtual vacancies for this forum only. Following duties will not be required in real life.

My Virtual Bitch - you must be clean, healthy, sexy, agree with most things I say but willing to give me the odd bollocking and have the odd row. You must get jealous when I chat to other female users and have public outbursts. In return you will recieve pictures of me in my pants, verbal protection, drunken PM's, mood swings and be expected to put up with my crap. Please note at anytime you may dump me publicly and post the pictures of me in my pants to humiliate me in revenge. Applicants must be aged over 18.

My Virtual Mother - You must be prepared to defend me at all costs, apologise on my behalf and think that my virtual bitch is not good enough for me as well as all other usual mortherly duties!

My Virtual Sister - Never had a real life sister so would like a virtual one who I can argue with about anything and everything. You will side with my Virtual Bitch in arguments and assist her in verbally attacking me during fall outs. Allthough we will apparently hate eachother I will become very protective when you talk to other male users "oi get away from my sister" - that sort of thing.

Applicants should apply in writing via this thread or by private message.

I wish you all the best of luck!!!

Please notes further positions will be available for the guys at a later date!