Being a dim newbie I wasn’t going to say so early on, but you seem a friendly lot and I’ve got a broad back – so here goes!

Right from being a tot we had always kept dogs, my parents initially, then when I was first married my husband had a couple of working dogs, so it’s not as though I don’t know how things work.

When I had my first dog after my doggy break I took on a 15th month that had already been castrated, as they do he still used to hump, not a lot but occasionally. One day he was outside in the garden stood rigid in an awkward position, his penis was out of its sheath and it sure looked like it would never go back. basically he was stood there thrusting midair with a daft vacant look on his face.

I proceeded to telephone my friend, one may I add who only has female standard poodles. She proceeded to tell me how dangerous this was, and what awful things could happen to him and that I should call the vet right away.

My vet’s at the time did not know me as well as they do now.

Telephone conversation to vets

Vets: Hello vets surgery how can I help.
Me: sorry to bother you I’m a bit worried about my dog are there a vet available that I could speak to please.
Vets. No sorry they are both in surgery, would you like to tell me the problem.
Me: My dog has an erection
Vets’ Pardon,
Me: My dog has an erection and I don’t know what to do
Vets. Why do you want to do anything?
Me: because it’s dangerous
Vets: And why do you think it’s dangerous,
Me: Because my friend told me.



I cannot remember the outcome of the conversation but remember every time I go in that vets I go red in the face when I think about it.