you might not find this funny but anyone who shows their dogs will.............

THE DOG SHOW.

First time at a dog show, I’ll tell you quite plain
I’ll never, NO NEVER go back there again!
The breeder said ’show him’ when I bought my dog,
I showed him alright, the whole place was agog!!


They gave me a number, they gave me a pin
But I just couldn’t bear to stick the thing in !
So I rushed to the shop and bought me some glue,
And stuck the card onto his rear in the loo!

We arrived at the ringside to find we were first
In the puppy dog class (now here comes the worse!)
We marched in together as fast as was able
Arrived at the judge who said” up on the table’’

This really surprised me, my skirt was quite tight,
And I just couldn’t make it, though try as I might.
The judge looked quite worried, he said’’ listen here ‘’
Put the DOG on the table, NOT you my dear!

By now I was trembling I felt such a fool,
But I said to myself ‘ we’ll just play it cool ‘’,
‘how old’ said the judge, I heard it quite clear
Well really I thought! And said’ thirty next year!’

The steward, poor fellow, threw some kind of fit.
He spluttered and coughed and his eyes ran a bit.
‘I’d have that cough seen to’ I said to him when
He’d finally stopped coughing…but soon started again!
‘once round the ring dear…as fast as you can
NOW said the judge so I just ran and ran.
But, when I arrived, (out of breath I’ll admit)
The judge said ‘ your DOG dear’ I felt such a twit !!

Off round again, I kept my head bent
Oh the shame of it all my pup went and went!
A lady came running with bucket and spade
With manure that’s so spicy she’s just got it made!

We came back to the judge, who said with a frown
‘stand your dog’…I replied. .he’s not sitting down,
‘You can take first place stand’ he said ..I said ‘Ha’
What a job I had getting that stand in the car……………..

Pauline xx