Hi Tillysmum,
I have just been reading this thread & I am so sorry for your loss
. It is natural that you feel like you blame yourself as I would be the same. I can see why you took Laurens post the wrong way as you will be feeling I suppose the word is paranoid, that others will be blaming you. I took Laurens post in the way that she came on to explain, ie information for others who may have a litter due soon & how important it is to have these things to hand.
I hope you are feeling better today
R.I.P Little man sweet dreams xx