i really feel for you. my lovely mare, legend was put to sleep on 7/09/09 and she had arthritis but it was the best thing for her and she was only 20. she would have never had got through another winter. i was was there at the end and it was very sad, but very peacefull. i'm writing this in tears, as i know how you must feel. be brave, be there for your horse. take care. thinking of you.