I think that it's very important for the owner to be part of the training. When I took my dog for training when he was a puppy He would listen to the trainer more, he had more respect for the trainer than me. He would also soon learn to only listen at the dog school so we started to have lessons inthe park and other train him at different places. The owner needs to learn how to control the dog without confusing it or giving him / her missleading messages. I like the idea of no punisments or even raised voice if that's what's obviously frightening her. Reward the good things, ignore the bad things. Make her feel good about herself and show her what makes you happy. After all she's doing what she's doing because she's frustrated. Dogs don't want to make you unhappy. They just want to please you so show her how
Making your husband the only person feeding her for about 2 weeks should also boost their relationship. He should also try hand feeding her. That should help their relationship a lot. I will also recommend following books by an excellent author Stanley Coren: How To Speak Dog and How Dogs Think. These are excellent books and will give you inside on dogs mind
