Ah this is so sad!! Reading this has bought tears to my eyes.
I am so sorry and my heart goes out to you.
The pictures of him shows how beautiful he is. I have had BSH for years and i lost one of ours last year so i know what you are going through.
You did everything you could and he knew that you loved him lots.
There are a lot of kind people on this forum that have gone through the same and we are always here to help.
Soon the happy memories of him will come back and the tears will gradually stop.
R.I.P Oscar you beautiful boy!!
Run free at Rainbow Bridge.

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