The past couple of weekends Bertie has practically disappeared and I've worried in case he's been hit by a car. He used to sit in the little boy next door's porch a lot and I'd know exactly where to find him, but he seems to have gone off children. I was speaking to an elderly man who lives in the old folks' home nearby (but over an enormous wall with a steep drop at the other side) and it turns out that this is where Bertie is going. He's transferred his affections from kids to oaps for reasons known only to himself. Anyway, I'm glad to know he's going somewhere safe. It's always interesting to find out what they're up to when they've gone awol.