Bless her, I would let her have play time, supervised (you probably do this anyway).
Play the "can you", pick up kitty like this, game (show her then let her copy).
Can you stroke kitty like this.
When she does it gently & the way you want her to, praise & treat her.
Then get her to show Daddy how to do it gently, so she is then taking on the teacher.
Then other family members & friends.
She will probably start telling everyone what they are doing wrong in the end. I hope. Good luck.